by Michael Kovacs
(This seminar is dedicated to my dear friend and fellow letter writer
Theresa Clark.)
(NOTE:Thank you very much for coming to this seminar. We will
be exploring personal letter writing, NOT romantic letter writing. If you want
to apply the techniques and suggestions here, that is great. I just want to
state that here so as not to disappoint anyone.)
“Poor tools require
better skills” (Marcel Duchamp).
One could start by saying something like:
Since the start of the mechanical reproduction of written language and
art, all communication has become more and more an indirect process. The culmination
of this is the present digital age where
all forms of communication have been reduced to the absolute uniformity ( and
by proxy, anonymity ) to all written (read “typed”) correspondence. When a form of communication, once intimate and
individual, becomes monochromatic, immediate, and without any value, what is
left is a simulacrum of an experience which no longer contains the true essence
of what it was created for and can offer. (i.e. The stunning reality of people
playing sports using a video game console versus the act of actually playing
the sport.)
Well, you COULD start it off like that.......
Hello and thank you for coming to the Seminar on the art of
letter writing. In this brief session we shall go over the basic parts of
letter writing and hopefully write a letter
during the session. Please note
that the handout you have covers more ground than will be discussed today
simply due to time.
Why are you here? Why are you reading this? Why aren’t you
texting? Calling? Putting a picture of this page on Tumblr? For the sake of all
things mauve, COMMENT ON THIS CLASS ON TWITTER!!!!!!!!!!!! #ink_kills_machines
or #nib_revolution_matrix
We are living in an age where almost everyone is communicating
ALL of the time. It seems to me that every gas station attendant, mini mart
employee, coffee shop patron and every
person from age 15 to 30 has their head buried in their smartphone at all
times.
Facebook/Twitter/Tumblr/and every other social media site has
updates happen at the speed of light and everyone is sharing their thoughts
with everyone else, much of the time with absolute strangers. Judging by this
observation, it can be easily stated that what everyone seems to be craving is
someone to listen to them and someone to reply to them. This need to
communicate goes deep. How deep? Well...
I Describing the History of Water to a Fish
If you are reading this than you are in either one of two
camps: You are already a letter writer and want to gain a new insight into the
art form, or you have never written a letter and wish to know how to do so.
Both approaches have the same question at their core: What exactly IS a
personal letter?
The personal letter is a form of written communication between
two (or perhaps, but rarely more)
parties where a non- verbal monologue (?) is transcribed into written form and
entrusted to its recipient(s). But if communication is need or desire to express
thought, then the beginnings of the letter predate language.,
The oldest known cave art comes from the Cave of El Castillo
in northern Spain, and may be more than 40,000 years old. The drive to make
what is internal external, therefore, is at least as old as the Neanderthal
era.
Scientists too have shown that writing, not typing, uses a
different part of our brain. Lesion studies in patients with Gerstmann’s
syndrome (a neurological disorder that is characterized by a constellation of
symptoms that suggests the presence of a lesion in a particular area of the
brain) have pointed to the parietal cortex (the part of the brain that
integrates sensory information) as being critical for writing.This study at
Stanford University showed that the left parietal cortex was involved in
writing. This thing that we do all the time is still a mystery, yet it is a
built in part of us. A unique part of our brain is used when communicating
through writing. Also, in the field of psychology, therapeutic letter
writing is used to help people deal with certain traumas. The voice within
needs the letter to be heard and validated.
While it would be silly to say that texting, calling, emailing,
posting on the many social network sites is NOT communication, it should then
be said that the act of letter writing produces a UNIQUE form of communication.
As stated before, linguistic digital communication is (at least at present)
without any personal characteristics other than perhaps unique language
manipulation. The personal letter (or note or postcard for that matter) all
have the human touch involved, that unique expression of ourselves.
We communicate, we transcribe the inner monologue we have,
because we cannot help ourselves. Without going into anything too deep, all of
nature (birds, bees, plants, animals, and even a chosen few reality television
show stars) communicate outside of themselves and to each other. Written
language, that amazing attribute to humanity, is something we should never take
for granted and use to its fullest potential.
II So, Mr. Lecture Guy, what makes a great letter?
When I was giving this seminar earlier this year, I asked the
group to remember the most amazing letter they got, the one that just knocked
their socks off. Much to my sorrow, the crew of people in their 20’s looked
back at me blankly and said, “No. Sorry. I never received a letter like that/”
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Okay, that is very bad, though in thinking about it, was not
surprising, Those raised in the digital age are perhaps the only generation in
hundreds of years to not receive physical mail. So, we must get down to the
base line and ask: What does make a great letter?
A personal letter is NOT a monologue! If you are filling up two
legal pads of single spaced writing and mailing it off to someone every few
days, you are most likely NOT going to get a reply. We all have that one person
we know where, when we get a call from them or meet up with them by accident
say, at the taxidermy clearance sale,
they just talk and talk and talk a..... and within three minutes you
have officially turned off all receptors of language and start envisioning them
as a life size twinkie. You may really care about them, but you get really
angry because you cannot get a word in edgewise. This is not to say we
all don’t call on a friend when there is a crisis to listen to us or do that
for those we care for. I am saying that the same rules that apply to letters
applies to the art of conversation.
And what is one of the biggest rules of conversation:
LISTENING. IF you receive a letter from a friend and they confide in you about how they are in a financial crisis due
to medical bills due to chemotherapy, it may be bad form to totally ignore that
and say what a bad week you had because you could not get the new iPhone or
could not sleep because the movie “Ernest Goes to Ancient Rome” was a let down.
If they shared something with you, comment on it.
Then again, for those who do not have a major crisis every
other nanosecond like I do, questions can be proposed on common interest, a
common passion on life, hopes, dreams, etc.
I have been blessed to have been part of quite a few amazing
conversations, both in voice and through letters. I thought I was all alone in
this but was so relieved to read Christopher Hitchens say in his last book
“Mortality”
“A conversation is the only human equivalent, the realizing that decent points are being
made and understood, that irony is in play as is elaboration, That a dull or obvious remark would be almost
physically harmful.”
Granted, these magical moments do not happen all the time, but
one must feed the soil of friendship with consideration, acts of kindness and
selflessness, and honesty. Therefore your letters in content will most likely
vary with who you are writing. An obvious point to be sure, but one that should
not be overlooked.
And finally, I am getting a bit cranky at those who say this to
me all the time: “Oh I miss getting letters but nobody writes them anymore.”
and two “There is just no time.” Both rest on the fact that somene needs to
start writing letters for the conversation to begin.
If you miss getting letters, you must ask the next question,
“When was the last time I wrote a letter?” You will not GET one unless you
WRITE one. And before you start screaming about how you never get replies, I
have news for you, Hemingway used to
complain about the same thing! H-E-M-I-N-G-W-A-Y!! So let’s just admit that we
enter into letter writing with the reality that not everyone will write us
back. Sad and disappointing, but true.
As for the “No TIME” issue, I will state the following: you
cannot allow expectation and imagination get in the way of doing something. You
may not have time to write an eight page letter as you so much desire. Fine.
You have time to write a postcard, no? And, the answer is, “Yes, I do.”
I will be the first to admit that I have sacrificed many many
many many hours to the god of Google. I will want to get something done, like
this handout, and the next thing I know I am on the search engine trying to
find a quote then to how soap is made then to how Katharine Hepburn died to
whatever happened to that girl from “Different Strokes’? And then, looking at
the clock in the lower right part of the screen as it mocks me for having
wasted away yet another portion of my life that I will never get back with
things that I will never remember.
I have written letters while waiting for takeout food, on
trains, on busses, in hospitals, and pretty much any place that has a table or
simply a chair.... or just some place to sit down. I do my best to write every
week. Even when I was writing my book, “Not the Yearbook You Expected” and
spent hours at the keyboard, I would find it refreshing to sit down and write a
friend a letter. Perhaps I am lucky in that writing is something I love. The
quality of it I cannot comment on, but it is something that has carried me
through the darker climbs on my existence, and the letters I would receive from
friends were nothing more than a lifeline out of the darkness.
IV Enough Talk, Let’s Do This!
Okay, let me begin by saying this about the form of letter
writing: THERE ARE NO RULES!
The form the letter has taken is simply out of necessity and
desire. You could make up your five page letter into a jigsaw puzzle and have
the recipient put it together or write it on the soles of shoes (which you can
legally mail) or in Pig Esperanto in microscopic font on a Valium. You can and
good luck in what will be sent back to you. (I am assuming some sort of Morse
code on acrylic French toast, which you can also mail. Please, don’t ask how I
know this.)
Please note: The assumptions made for the following letter are
this: you already know the person and are already in some sort dialogue with
them. Introductory letters that are done for pen pals and the like must start
off more expository than usual (many things about yourself and even more about
the person you are writing) and of a very general emotional nature.
Step one: Where and when
Please, please please put the date and where you are somewhere
on the top of the page. If for nothing else it gives an organizational tool for
later on as well as the setting for the scene. Writing it from a library in
Dusseldorf should paint a different picture than a motel in Detroit or Camden.
Even just the town will do. (Milan or Trenton... the IS a difference).The date
also helps the reader know right out of the gate of the possibility of letters
have crossed.
Step Two: The Salutation
We always start off our letters with “Dear” and that is fine.Is
in general and does not have any huge weight or direction. The wonderful author
David Rakoff used to address his emails, “Dearest....” That has such a
wonderful spin to it which is no wonder as he was a brilliant writer and by all
accounts a sweetheart of a guy.
“My Dear” , “My Dearest”, can obviously be followed by the
persons name or nickname. “DOOOOOOD!!!” “Baby!” and “To the person who refuses
to apply to infested area,.” (to quote Steve Martin) This is an intimate conversation between you
and someone else. Inside jokes are a must!
But I cannot stress enough the importance of this part of the
letter. As someone who has been writing and recording Music for the past
forever, the opening notes of any piece are some of the most crucial. The
opening chord to the Beatles, “Hard Day’s Night”, the opening notes to
Stravinsky’s “Rite of Spring”, the opening of the song “So What” by Miles
Davis, and so on. This rule also applies to film and fiction. The entrance sets
the tone. Use this wisely.
Step Three: The Invocation....kind of
I always suggest that after the basic hellos, you tell the
other person what was the last letter you received and/or refer to the last
time you were in communication. Besides giving context, it also allows the
reader to know of their last letter was received. If a letter was mailed to you
about how they had a car accident and lost their job and are in an emotional
crisis with their relationships and all you talk about is how much fun your new
meerkat's laugh is, there is going to be some emotional dissonance. Mention
where you are connecting from in terms of time and information. That will help.
Step Four: Off to the Races with a Camera
If you already know what to say, fantastic. However, it may be
a good idea to take a step back and tell them what is around you. Describe the table, the coffee, the person
next to you or perhaps some guy in the room wearing a strange hat who is a
carrying a guitar. Whatever. You are giving the other person a movie. Set the
scene. “I am at a pen show and I just got this new Pen.....”
Then....
Before you go into your dissertation about how the boss at your
new job has made you love the novels of Chuck Palahniuk in a deeper fashion,
talk about what THEY wrote YOU. At least for a sentence or two. You can always
come back to it later. If they confided in you something important, make sure
you let them know that. Remember, they did not have to write you back...
Then....
If you have nothing to say, then give them the gift of a memory
or a thought or a hope.
My friend Ilana (as well as my friends Alyssa and Michael) have
said that, for the most part, my letters tend to be meditations. I suppose I
just start writing and, because they are such close friends, I just keep
writing. The process of writing a letter places the author in a meditative
state, closing out the outside world to focus only on what is within. I also
find that listening to Music helps get me in the right frame of mind to write.
To me it is the soundtrack to the movie I am transcribing. That being said, one
can also include a CD of Music with the letter, giving them the soundtrack you
had when you were writing it. While I don’t do this as much as I used to, it
was de rigeur for some time.
Then...
Discuss matters of the other person. Give them advice, a kind
word, Again, this is conversation between friends and not a James Joyce postal
therapy session only benefitting one party;
Step Five:Place All Seats and Thoughts in their Upright
Position....
Make sure you take the time to wind things down. Saying what
you will be doing after you complete the letter is often quite wonderful as it
keeps the story going after the words have finished. It also makes the other
party feel like they are being carried with you within the silence.
Last step: Conclusionary Rites
How you conclude the letter is just as important as how one
begins it. And this can get a bit tricky as how one leaves in this conversation
gives context and tone to everything that preceded it. “Sincerely” and “Yours”
are good and nice standard closings. “Love, “ however, well, that can spin out
of control faster than Courtney Love on ice skates after a three day bender. I
am not saying to avoid it, but just be careful with it.
“Yours Always” “With Hopes to Hear from You Again”, “With
Deepest Gratitude and Friendship” are all good closing lines, not to mention,
“Your Friend”
Just pay attention to how you end your letter. Again, there are
no rules, but you are writing the closing seconds to the movie you have
written. It matters. (Just watch the ending of the movie “The Graduate” or “The Usual Suspects” if you doubt me.)
V And So...................
And so, here we are, at the theoretical end of matters. You
will most likely note that I did not include any tips on stationary making in
the handout. While I make my own stationery via my own methods, the advent and
popularity of scrap-booking has produced a plethora of books on the subject. I
am always pleased when someone buys my stationary on Zazzle as it makes me
think that someone will be writing another person on my stationary.
In the end, I care more about content than presentation. Please
do not get me wrong. I LOVE getting letters on amazing stationery (thank you,
Sabine), I cherish the words more than the paper. Some of the most amazing
letters I have gotten have been on notebook paper.
And please, do not waste any time. When you write a letter....
JUST SAY IT!
This artform, the personal letter, has changed the course of
human history and its need and presence within human interaction remains
unchanged. Never forget its power to remind others that they matter, that they
are remembered. We like email, but we LOVE the letter. The email and text feed
only one of the senses: sight. The letter illuminates the trifecta: sight,
touch, and (if you wish, by physical presence) smell.
I owe a great deal to those who have written to me and allowed
me the honor to write to them across the years. While I have done Music, prose,
fiction, non-fiction, multimedia, canvas art, and poetry, I still find the
Letter to be the easiest and most joyful expressions of creativity. But it is
an art form made for an audience of one.
Just today I asked someone I have written to for over twenty
years what should say about letter writing. She said that my letters were
meditative and honest. Perhaps it falls back on what Christopher Hitchens said
that there is no greater gift than when a reader feels you are talking just to
THEM. And the letter does just that. We are addressing the reader, placing
before them our offering of words.
So I hope you write letters and the unique Joy that it brings.
Ironically, I have sent out postcards to every person who has ever come to my
seminars and have never gotten a reply. (Okay, I sent things out to all the
addresses I COULD READ! PLEASE WRITE
CLEARLY ON THE MAILING LIST!!!!!)
Letter writing has been a part of my life for most of my
existence. I believe it was wonderful preparation for my life in the arts, as the
meditative state I get in when I write music or prose or do visual art is the same. All of those
things require the same mental state, to be disengaged from the outside world
and focused on crafting from the internal desire to say something. Letter writing
is not a performance art. In the end all that matters is the honesty and
clarity of the word and nothing else.
But to me, the personal letter deals with the conversation that
binds friendships together, that slowly built cathedral of words sent by courier.
But in the end there is nothing else like it. If you get the chance, please
watch the play “The Best of Friends” with Sir John Gielgud, Wendy Hiller, and
Patrick McGoohan. It is an epistolary play based simply on the letters of the
author George Bernard Shaw, museum curator Sir Sydney Cockerell and abbess Dame Laurentia McLachlan. The play
shows the weaving of the threads that become an unbreakable rope of friendship
between them all, mostly through the written word. Friendship, true friendship,
is a reflection of the Divine.
Now get out there and write more letters. You are at a PEN
SHOW! Strike up a conversation and see if you would like to write each other.
Or go through your address book and write five people you used to write to, Or,
if you are so inclined, go online and find one of the many letter writings
sites where you can be connected such as the Letter Writers Alliance. Just try.
The opportunities, and desire to connect using this amazing art form, are out
there.
My deepest thanks to everyone at the Pen Show for allowing me
to give this seminar, Steve Hayes for amazing help and getting this thing in
the best shape, Laura Chandler and everyone at Pen World.
Alyssa (Just Alyssa), Michael Eppel, Ilana Stern, Marta
Quinones, EIleen Leary, and Chelsea Frost for keeping the letters alive in my
life, and to my wife Christine for sewing it all together with words and
actions of love and support.
And thank you all for coming and taking the time to listen and
write.
With Deepest Gratitude,
Michael Kovacs
PS: If you wish to be in touch, my address is:Michael Kovacs PO
Box 200 Old Bridge NJ 08857
My book “Not the
Yearbook You Expected” is available for download at Amazon.
My writing blog is
ww.meditationsinink.blogspot.com and my stationary is available for sale
on Zazzle.com at
PostModernLetters
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copyright 2013 by Michael Kovacs
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